Document name: Internet Wed, 7 Sep 1994 20:52:50 -0400 (EDT
Subject: Re: Neil and Secretaries
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Date: Wed, 7 Sep 1994 20:52:50 -0400 (EDT)
From: HORVATH@aesop.rutgers.edu
To: kyost@nomvs.lsumc.edu
Message-Id: <940907205250.26ca@aesop.rutgers.edu>
Subject: Re: Neil and Secretaries
>> first, but Karen keeps pushing. Just because someone cares or is
>> concerned doesn't give them the right to run roughshod over very clearly
>> expressed wants.
I agree here. Karen was no shrinking violet and I found her, frankly, rather
too pushy for comfort. I can imagine what an uninterested man would've felt.
>back in their face. I don't believe Karen ever did anything
>so horrible to be called a bitch (thank goodness he didn't
>say that to her face). Neil is not a diplomat and appears
>to be an expert at driving people away.
Actually, I don't think it was a personal remark even if Neil *was* directing
the insult at Karen. I think it was a thoroughly annoyed, perhaps thoroughly *
angry* comment about her aggressiveness. I also think that if she'd backed off
considerably, they could have at least been friends.
>> And his bitterness about Karen alive vs Laura dead is irrational,
>> but explicable and understandable.
>I don't believe Neil's behavior here is understandable. I would
>never set any time limit for grief; everyone is different and some
>people never get over the death of a loved one. But is it healthy
>to dislike someone or avoid someone just because they're alive?
Whether or not it's healthy, it's normal. I can't remember how many times
either I or one of my friends...all of us reasonably intact in our minds...have
been frustrated and hurt and angry when someone we loved died...and someone we
didn't much care about was still alive. A personal example was my father's
premature (age 70) death. My brothers and I all resented the fact that our
uncle, our father's brother, was still alive. In our minds, our father had had
no enemeis, while our uncle was not especially popular in the family. The
resentment eventually died away, of course, because none of us is as
emotionally "skewed" as Neil Burnside.
Then there was the death of Robert Kennedy vs. the survival of George
Wallace...that sort of thing. Depending on one's point of view, it was very
easy to resent Wallace's being alive while someone like Robert Kennedy...yes,
and Martin Luther King, Jr., too...were killed.
>horrible at remembering episode names), but to me Neil seemed to
>blame Karen for being alive; how can she help that? Neil may be
>suffering guilt for making THE decision to have Laura killed and
>refocusing his guilt/anger towards others?????
I don't know about Neil's feeling guilty or not...I do think he was still
hurting so much about Laura's death that a) the thought of another woman in her
profession being alive was bitter for him, and b) Karen's trying to push her
way into his life was really annoying.
I always liked that scene, at the end of the episode, where Willy, I think,
asked Neil why he hated Karen so much, and Neil said, "Because she's alive." I
identified with him 100 per cent. 12 years ago, I would have answered the
question the same way about my uncle. Now, of course, I don't much care...one
has to wonder if Neil would've learned to live with grief.
>Yes, I think Neil and Diane had a good relationship. I recall times
>where she made *inquiring phone calls* for Neil. I wish the
>series had continued a bit more so we could see just how Neil
>and Marianne got along.
I really enjoyed that relationship...reminded me (sort of) of one I had with a
boss who bragged he'd fired 2 secretaries and forced 3 others to quit. Well,
when I quit, it wasn't because he was a Neil Burnside bully, but we had a heck
of a good time exchanging comments a la Burnside.
Question, re secretaries: did Marianne ... oops, WAS Marianne interested in
Neil as a potential lover? Or was she just concerned as an employee. As a
long-time secretary, I know how possessive we can be about our bosses...does
anyone have any thoughts on how *that* relationship might have gone?
Hilde Horvath
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